There Are No Rules

When I first started in Tantra I wanted to experience all the rituals I heard about exactly as they were written or how they were portrayed on the videos. My wife resisted a little as some of these rituals didn’t really interest her. If we did them differently I would be disappointed. This created some tension between us…exactly the opposite of what Tantra was supposed to be about.

It took me a little while to relax and figure out that the rituals were there to serve us and not the other way around. The form that these rituals take is not important it is their intent and purpose that must be preserved. The rituals are supposed to remind us of how important we are to each other and to remind us of the sacredness of the pleasures we are to share. They help us focus on the moment and each other. For some a bath ceremony may be just the right thing, for others the act of preparing a sacred space together may be right. It doesn’t matter what form the rituals take so we have made up our own that we both enjoy. We may not find them in any books but they are right for us.